State of Mind

That feeling you get in the right angle of your heart, when that special one confesses to you that you weren't all that special after all. That emptiness when you glance back on the 'I love you's' exchanged, dwelling in the futility of mere words. Which hurts more? Time lost or feelings wasted.... 3 relationships in the less than a year leaves me with more mixed feelings than I care to have. The burden of love lost, lies entwined, trust compromised and commitment destroyed, (X3)... Its easier to be alone. I am alone now but I still reflect. I reflect on the burdens I've carried, my emotions are bitter-sweet. Just like a woman in labour. - bitter, sweet. Regrets camouflaged by smiles. I wonder if you can see, I wonder if it shows, I wonder if you care.

*Current State of Mind*

Thanks guys for all your kind words. *blowing kisses*

Dear Dad...

Dear Dad,
For every tear I shed, for every time I whisper 'daddy', I hope u hear me.
I almost thought time willl stop when you left, it didn't, its almost a year.
It helps me feel better when I think that I am the one who misses you the most, the one who you loved the most. Selfish I know, but it helps. Now I realize you are the man I loved the most. Remember when u were ill, how we kept that journal to record your progress, I still can't bring myself to read it.
When I remember my last moments with, the pain I feel is unimaginable. Its a scene that replays over in my head although I wish I didn't.

I passed the aptitude test for that firm you really wanted me to get into, but somehow I feel you already know this. I feel your love, it keeps me going. I started this letter with the terrible fear that I was losing my memory of you, forgetting your scent, forgetting your words. On concluding now, I know that's simply impossible. I can never forget you.
I love u beyond words and I can't stop missing you.

Love.